WTF? is that the first thing came out in your mind? If so, it's alright, as I'm used with those kinda expression when the first time people sees her or even afterwards. Well, for you and those who see, she's the most ugliest, scariest and crappiest teddy bear you've seen in life because you never know the story of her and us.
27 years ago, she was this so cute teddy bear that everyone who knew me since I was a little baby, said "when there's her (Nyenyen), there'll be me". And in every photo of me, there's always her. And time flew too fast that even in the age of almost 28, we are still together which basically means we are growing up together! Not in the picture but I still hold her when I'm sleeping and so proud of having her. She is the one who will always be irreplaceable. She travels with me (until now still do whenever I go to overseas or even outside the city, I bring her along). She sees the darkest sides of me, the tears I've dropped, the every little thing my heart want and feel, she knows it all. She listens to all my complains, she comforts me (i like to put her hand into my head or snuggling in her too skinny body). In her, I found my peaceful place, in her hugs or when I hug her. So yes, so far of 27 years of living, I can't let her go even my mom told me so!
Mom wanted me to replace her, to put her away (used too) and I knew without her by my side, I wouldn't had a great sleep! See, keeping her throughout 27 years and on going is a decision for me and I knew i could have put her in the plastic bag but I decided not too! I started my journey as Me with her, the day where I turned one year old! The moment when I started to talk, to speak, to eat proper food, when i'm sick, when my career is rising and when I'm being successful , SHE witnessed it all and will be witnessing every little details in my life, my wedding, my life growing old with Mr. Grumpy.And yes, I do plan to bring her to my wedding, to even give her a proper seat and treat her like human. I still scream when someone misplaced or hold her very harsh. Weird? Call me weird but if you've something that you grew up with, I'm sure you would understand how it feel :)
Do you know that keeping her is like being in a relationship too? You always choose who pleased your eyes and make your heart beats the most but may not care enough for "their heart" until long enough. Then time flew, you start to see the "ugliest, darkest and creepiest" sides of them (some even just found out after marriage), that make you wonder what's next!
"Everything/Everyone that look beautiful pleases your eyes but not pleasing your heart long enough. Often you want to give up the long journey you've taken for the sake of "unable to compromise, can't accept them fully". But this is life, this is the truth : Everything that pleases your eyes never last long, it always be so extremely beautiful for some amount of time, but later its outlook beauty is fading away! Which is why, after your eyes is pleased by its outer beauty, you also have to please your heart by seeing their inner beauty. Because what make your heart beat with happy tunes lasts longer :)"
I Love you my 27 years on going Teddy bear, Nyen-Nyen! That despite of you getting uglier physically, but in my eyes, you've always been that beautiful teddy bear that once I held when I was 1 year old , and the ones who've become the only irreplaceable best friend and the one whom I will be growing old with and living with Mr. Grumpy too. Don't worry, he is used to her already and He didn't know how happy I'm when he allows me to carry her everywhere. She's my comforter and yes, I do talk with her a lot! I greeted her when I came to my room and when I left too, i kissed her. For me, she's alive, just mute :)
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